THROUGH ALL MY BATTLES TO SURVIVE

THERE WERE MANY DAYS I JUST LAID AND CRIED

BEHIND MY CLOSED DOOR I CRIED AND I CRIED

WHEN IT OPENED, OH HOW I LIED

I NEVER KNEW HOW TO REACH OUT

FILLED WITH FEAR OF THE REJECTION I’D ENDURE

IT SEEMED EASIER TO MAKE BELIEVE I WAS OK

WHEN REALLY I WAS JUST WASTING AWAY

BUT, OH HOW IT WOULD HURT TO LEARN PEOPLE

KNEW I WAS ILL AND STILL BE LEFT 

BEHIND THE CLOSED DOOR

-CJP

** I TRY TO NOT LET IT BOTHER ME BUT IT DOES I SPENT THE NIGHT CRYING LAST NIGHT BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS ALL THE PROCESS I HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO JUST LEAVE MY HOME TO BE OK JUST FOR A BIT AND THEN TO BE BERIDDEN THE NEXT DAY FOR SOME PLEASURE, IT HURTS THAT WHEN I TELL PEOPLE A HUGH PERCENTAGE OF MY TIME IS SPENT DEALING GOING TO THE HOSPITAL ALOT ALOT….AND THEY DO NOT BELIEVE ME I STRUGGLE EVERY DAY TO MAKE IT , TO SURVIVE , AND FIGHTING TO LIVE. PLEASE JUST TAKE A PERSON’S WORD. IT HURTS.