TIRED BUT STILL…..

“AFTER A WHILE I REALIZED…WOW AFTER ALL THESE HURTS, SCARS, BRUISES. AFTER ALL THESE TRIALS. I REALLY MADE IT. I DID IT , I’M STILL DOING IT , I SURVIVED THAT WHICH WAS SUPPOSSED TO KILL ME. I’M STILL FIGHTING, TIRED BUT STILL…

 

I  REALIZED HOW NO MANY GRASP THE MEDICAL SITUATION I AM IN IT IS UNIQUE, UNCOMMON AND HARD TO GET IT , IF YOUR NOT IN IT.  ONE PERSON SAID THEY KNOW HOW IT IS THERE IS A TIME WHEN THEY HAD TO SEE LIKE 3 DOCTORS IN A MONTH AND I WAS LIKE THAT IS A NORMAL WEEK FOR ME . I ACTUALLY SEE MORE .

-RHEUMATOLOGIST

-NEUROLOGIST

-HEMATOLOGIST

-GENERAL MD

-ENT

-NUERO UROLOGIST

-NUEROGASTROINTEROLOGIST

-CARDIOLOGIST

-HERIDETARY CARDIOLOGIST FOR FH

-DERMATOLOGIST

-ENDROCRONOLOGIST

-NEURO SURGEON

-SPINE DOCTOR

-IMMUNOLOGIST

OK IM TIRED OF LOOKING AT THIS YOU GET IT

 

 

 

 

 

-Part is from author unknown. the rest is me

chemo/ivig overwhelmed

After seeing my Rheumatologist, neurologist, hematoligist, primary, another specialist all in 3 days with lots of more blood test now we find the treatment for my condition is Cytoxan which is chemo therapy. Even though a person may need a therapy their body may not be strong enough or a canidate of the treatment now They are considering IVIG as my next step . It all changes like a light switch, or blink of an eye my head is just spinning.   Anyway whatever treatment I end up doing is a life long challenge it is not something in my cards to do once it is an ongoing thing for the rest of my living live.  Gotta get some sleep back to UCLA now tommorrow for a long day full of specialists for all these multi system malfunction. I guess i am afraid to really tell people the fault in my stars. I hope someone truly cares . I am feeling very sad. When i go outside i smile and pretend and no ones truly knows and i am also tired of pretending.